Her train of thought from her vocal cords ripped right into me at sonic speed, leaving me a splattered mess on its rails.
I blinked away the reality where words could kill - visions of my dead, unblinking stare fading fast with each swipe of my eyelids. The quantum probability collapsed leaving nothing but a bad afterimage. I gathered myself into immortality again before I begged her pardon.
She repeated herself, her tone soft and words iron; Russian roulette with six loaded chambers, and I'd just asked for another pull of the trigger.
Horizontal line, yay
Just an image, a phrase I had rolling around in my mind for a long while. I've finally managed to express it in words that satisfy me (in that I feel I've expressed it clearly enough while retaining all the juicy flavour) - for now.
An explanation, in case you want/need one: the girl tells the guy something - something shocking, and the guy is very shocked. Shocked to the extent that he feels that he could have died. He also asks her to repeat herself, possibly by mistake due to the knee-jerk reaction of saying "what...?" when confronted with something startling.
The scene was painted with quantum analogies: alternative universes and quantum immortality. I always thought they were pretty neat, I'm glad I managed to squeeze one in like that. Overall pretty happy about how it all came together (kind of), even though it was short!
Also, always happy to hear consturctive criticism - I'm not a professional writer or anything, so anything to to help me explore more techniques and avenues would be just dandy.
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